Could Jewellery For Ashes Help You Grieve?
Posted on August 27 2019
Could Jewellery for Ashes help you to grieve?
When we lose a loved one, the process of mourning causes us to hold onto things which connect us to them. Often we keep their possessions, or objects which give us a sensory link to the person we miss like a perfume or a voice message.
Many people choose to keep their loved ones with them in the most physical way possible - by preserving and keeping their ashes. Urns for ashes have a long tradition across many cultures, but now more and more people are choosing to keep ashes with them in a different way, sealed safely inside pieces of jewellery.
What is Jewellery for Ashes?
Ashes jewellery allows us to keep someone close in a very intimate and tender way. A necklace for ashes worn by the heart is far closer physically than an urn on the mantlepiece. A pair of earrings infused with a loved one’s essence may remind us of the words we shared together. A ring on a finger is a physical way of holding their hand in ours.
Cremation jewellery isn’t for everyone. Before deciding to preserve your loved one’s ashes in any way, you should consider how it could fit into your grieving process, as well as what the deceased would want. Would having their ashes close to you help you to heal and to feel comforted, knowing they’re literally close by? How would it feel to know you were able to keep your loved one close to you for the rest of your life?
Why do we feel the need to hold onto our loved ones’ remains?
We’re not the only species that draws comfort from being physically close to our lost loved ones. Elephants are famously documented to visit the bones of their deceased, and to carry them and mourn them. There is also evidence to show that chimpanzees and other great apes do the same. Even animals like rats, and some birds like magpies and crows, are believed to spend time with the remains of their family members in order to process and understand their loss.
All this shows that this need for physical closeness after death is very natural. Our social bonds and structures are a little more complicated than other animals, but we’re driven by the same natural instinct to connect with each other, and that means we need to find ways to process our loss when that connection comes to an end.
Ashes Jewellery may help you to heal and grow after bereavement.
We often see a repeated narrative play out when it comes to the grieving process. Dr Kubler-Ross, in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying”, outlined the five stages of grief that we are familiar with today - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. But doctors have long agreed that although these stages are common ground for many, no one person’s grieving process is ever quite the same as another’s.
For some, holding onto the physical reminders of a loved one is the last thing on their mind, they want to push all reminders and mementos away. But for others, there is a real, intense need to keep hold of their loved one as tangibly as possible.
There is nothing wrong or unusual about this. Though we may hear a lot of people encouraging us to “let go” of the person we’ve lost, for some people that just isn’t the path to acceptance. In fact, in cases of so-called “Complicated Grief,” doctors often recommend that mourners are encouraged to create and hold onto a lasting bond with their lost loved one. This is where ashes jewellery could play a positive role. If letting go of your lost loved one feels impossible, perhaps your journey through grief would be better directed through physical closeness and remembrance. In this case, a piece of jewellery, like a necklace for ashes, could help you along this path.
What does Cremation Jewellery look like?
Jewellery for ashes comes in a wonderful variety of forms. We’re proud to stock a broad range of options showcasing the real extent and beauty of what it’s possible to achieve. Some available jewellery, including necklaces for ashes, functions as a miniature urn - you’re able to fill a hollow inside with your loved one’s ashes, then safely seal it using the kit provided.
We also offer the option to have us infuse your loved one’s ashes inside a durable and beautiful resin “stone”, which can be sculpted to fit a range of pieces, from pendants to rings. Whichever option you choose, the main thing is that the precious ashes will remain secure and stable within the jewellery for your entire lifetime.
Not only is jewellery for ashes durable, it’s also subtle. Our designs are elegant and suitable for regular wear. Nobody needs to know that your pendant, ring, or charm is carrying a part of your loved one - besides you. This may be especially helpful for people who have lost a beloved pet and don’t want to have to go through the stress of explaining their importance to others who may not understand. Of course, this applies to any loss too painful to openly discuss.
Precious objects can help us to preserve memories.
When looking back at someone’s life after a loss, it can help to focus on your best memories together and do your best to immortalise them by writing them down, telling people about them, and using visual cues and touch to remind yourself when you need those memories the most.
Cremation jewellery can fulfil this function very well. Many of our designs use shapes, colours and motifs which can help to link you to a moment in the past which you want to hold onto when it matters, whether it’s a football match or a night at the opera.
Jewellery for Ashes can also be shared with others.
When it comes to keeping a traditional urn for ashes on the mantlepiece, unintentional conflict may arise when the deceased was loved deeply by multiple people, who would all benefit from taking custody of their ashes.
In cases like this, ashes jewellery can be an ideal solution to ensure that everybody who wants to can participate in keeping the loved one’s memory alive. We need such a small amount of ash to infuse or fill a piece of jewellery, that an entire family could enjoy caring for a piece of ashes jewellery each while leaving more than enough ashes to be kept, buried, or scattered at a later date.
Is Jewellery for Ashes the right choice for you?
The road to recovery after bereavement can be long. If you feel that keeping a part of your loved one close to you along the way may help you to get through this process a little easier, then a piece of jewellery containing their ashes could be a meaningful solution. Our jewellery is an ideal way to remember, celebrate, and draw comfort from the memory of a loved one. It’s beautiful, subtle, and long-lasting.
We encourage you to take a look through our collections and see if any of our designs feel right for you, and we’d also love to hear from you if you need help with a difficult order, or just want more information about how our processes work.